Anonymous asked: Cameroon
Describe your culture.
This is really interesting to think about!!! I live in Australia, and would say we have a very relaxed lifestyle. Our culture revolves heavily around ‘living’… The beach, summer, music, festivals, sport - we have a very social culture.
There are also elements of our culture I’m less proud of… Alcohol and drinking to excess has become the norm, and whilst a few drinks to relax is fine, it has become common place to drink to excess and leads to violence and various other negative consequences. Our culture can also be quite intolerant… whilst there’s parts of our society very open and accepting, there are wider undertones of racism, sexism and intolerance that run right through to the current leaders of this country and government.
I do love living here and there are part of our culture that I genuinely love, but I guess we have a very mixed culture and my hope is that it will change to be more broadly open and accepting in the future.
ladadee-etoile asked: Hi! Im having a hard time letting go of the past. I regret that i make such silly mistake that now i have to bear the pain of losing the one i love. I cant forgive myself. Things had been worse for me.. Haunted by the past,idk wt shld i do.
I’m so sorry you’re struggling in this way, I have spent a lot of time tortured by my own past so I absolutely understand how difficult and painful it can be, and how trapped you may feel.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that the only thing you can do with the past is to accept it. Which is almost impossible to do when you have current feelings and thoughts so entwined in things that have now passed and you cannot ever change. What you can change is how you reflect upon those things and carry them within yourself.
Forgiving yourself is rarely easy, and yet it so vitally important. The path to self-forgiveness is to offer yourself the same understanding, compassion and empathy you would give to another person. You have to detach from your current feelings about the past, and think about your situation as you would if it were a friend coming to you struggling with these feelings. What would you tell her? We ALL make mistakes, and our mind tends to amplify those of the past. But mistakes are a part of life and make us human. No single choice defines our entire life. Choices we make may have an impact, that is undeniable, but no matter what mistakes we make, they do not stop us from making different and better choices in the future. In fact, the deeper purpose of mistakes is to teach us how to make better choices in the future. You might tell her to stop beating herself up for a single moment, because in doing so it’s robbing her of all the amazing experiences she could be having here and now.
Losing someone you love, no matter how it happens, is always hard. And when you’re berating yourself for choices that may or may not have led to that outcome, you are blocking yourself from being able to grieve this loss which is necessary to move on. This pain is something that needs to be felt, but certainly not carried forever. Allow yourself to feel it… But also allow yourself to feel all of the wonderful experiences and love this person brought to your life. The fact that they are no longer in your life doesn’t mean that they take with them all of the good times you’ve shared. Those things, like all parts of the past, cannot be changed. And they can live on in your heart if you choose to make space for them there.
Give yourself all the time and patience you need to move through these emotions. It may be helpful to seek a Psychologist or therapist to help you; often once we voice our feelings to another person their intensity and power over us lessens greatly. Alternatively, talk things through with a close and trusted friend. Write it all out in a diary. The only way to let go of these feelings is to find an outlet to release them.
Remember, one mistake does not change that you are a beautiful person, worthy of love and belonging. Wishing you all the best in your healing journey.
Love and light xxx
Anonymous asked: Germany
Do you have a hard time forgiving yourself?
Ok, this is the last one I’m doing before I go to bed but I have FIVE ask’s for Germany and another message about forgiving yourself (which I will reply to tomorrow when I have proper time - I promise!) so it seems to be something people want to know and/or relate to…
In short, yes. Forgiving myself has been one of my biggest struggles and is very much something I’m still in the process of learning to do. And probably one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in that process, and what I’ve thus realised is an even bigger issue for me, is blaming myself for things that are not my fault. When you do that not only do you have to learn how to forgive yourself, but also how to be strong enough to direct blame where it rightly belongs.
Anonymous asked: France
How do you show love for those you care for?
Hmmm… I guess in a variety of different ways, it’s not something I tend to hold back or hide. Often in creative ways; I will often draw or make or paint things for the people who mean the most to me. I also tend to be quite direct and tell people how much they mean to me - I think gratitude is extremely important.
Anonymous asked: Denmark
Do you wish for something of your past?
I wish for many things of my past… I’ve been trying really hard to let go of the past and I have gotten better at that, but I’d be lying if I said there aren’t certain things I’d take back in a heartbeat.